I want to tell you a story…
In high school, I dated a guy for 3yrs, and music was his life. I like music. I like all kinds of music, folk, pop, country, rock, but I’m not a live music jam band junkie. Slowly but surely his passion increased, and it became his lifestyle. He was staying up late downloading the latest live String Cheese show, and trading shows with other jam band junkies. I remember driving to his house to pick him up, and I would be rockin’ out to my country music, and without even asking, he would get in my car, take out my CD, and put in his latest “live session” he had just burned. (side note: He didn’t have his license, so I would drive us everywhere, to me making it even more rude for him to always just make out my music and put in his). He would say, I have a song I want to play for you. At first, it was sweet, and then over time, we NEVER listened to any of the music I wanted to listen to. Again, small at first, but music became his life. Before I knew it, I was listening to all of the bands he liked, and we were going to shows. I mean, I went to Phish concerts, String Cheese Incident, Widespread Panic, Mississippi Allstars, The Samples, the list goes on. Then for my high school graduation present he wanted to take me to Bonnaroo. Seriously? That’s what he wanted to do, not what I wanted to do. I thought by investing in all of what he loved, it showed him how much I loved him, and he would return the love. When I got to college and I finally had some freedom, I quickly realized how much of myself I had lost in him. I had lost myself in loving him, in many ways, than just the music, and I had forgotten how to love myself. And well, it didn’t take much for me to see that this wasn’t going to work, and so I broke up with him. (side note: after I broke up with him, that was when he realized what a selfish ass he had been, and he started trying to win me back…too late! haha). Anyway, I promised myself that I would never lose myself in anyone else ever again. And I haven’t. It was an important lesson for me to learn.
Compromise is important in relationships, but don’t ever lose yourself.
Anyway, I did a 30 day countdown to my 30th birthday, and my 30th birthday was 6 months ago (from yesterday, May 20th). It had me reflecting and thinking, all day yesterday and a lot of today. When I was approaching the big 3-0, you can’t help but look back on your life and appreciate where you are today. I have learned so many lessons. I have gone through plenty of heart breaks. I have been laid off from jobs. I mean life isn’t easy for anyone. We all have faced challenges, and we all will continue to face challenges. I think all we can do is work on being our best self. To be as happy as we can be, independent from all other variables. I learned long ago, that my happiness should not be dependent upon anyone or anything. Happiness comes from an internal place. It is a state of mind.
Dream your dream; and realize that you are more than just a dreamer; you are the point of origin for its reality. -@stevemaraboli // It’s up to us to take action to make our dreams reality. An inch of movement will bring us closer to our dreams than a mile of intention. We can want all day long. We can dream all day long. But it is only through A C T I O N that we can actually bring life to our goals and dreams. ᒪIᐯE today and ᗰOᐯE yourself toward your dreams! #morningthoughts
I have always been confident. I have always known who I am. But, I like everyone else have insecurities. And when those get poked, my confidence gets shaken. I made a promise to myself when I kicked off my 30’s to never settle for less than I deserve, to love my imperfect self, and to not just say I’m confident and talk about my dreams, but to actually believe and show that I believe through my intentional actions. I often let my emotions get the best of me, and I am thrown curveballs that challenge this, that challenge my strength to be confident in who I am, that challenge my strength to love my imperfect self, that challenge my ability to own all that I am.
This is a reminder to all of you and myself…You are not broken. You are not ugly. You are not unworthy. You are not too short. You are not too tall. You are not the number on a scale. You are not too old. You are not too young. You are not your mistakes. Y O U ~ A R E ~ B E A U T I F U L // 6 months ago to the day I got off a plane in Thailand, all by myself. I didn’t know who I was going to meet at the other end. I didn’t speak the language and I had no idea where I was going. In that moment, all I could do was T R U S T and have ᑕOᑎᖴIᗪEᑎᑕE in myself. I had just celebrated my 30th birthday the day before, and hopped on a plane that night. I stepped into my 30’s knowing who I am and what I want in this life. I had never been more sure of myself. It is in that moment that I truly began to ❤️ L o V e ~ M E. I was about to spend 2 weeks getting to know myself. 
I’ve always known who I was and had confidence in myself, and have had dreams and goals, but this was different. This was truly believing in who I am and owning it. This was accepting my flaws and loving my imperfect self. This was taking that belief and turning it into action. This was deciding and with intentional action showing that I will go after my dreams full steam ahead and never settle for anything less than what I deserve. It was knowing, learning, understanding and believing that everything happens for a reason and creating space in my life where positive energy could fill that space. // Be true to who you are and never lose yourself. We must first love ourselves. Believe in ourselves. We must find our passions, own them, and cultivate them. And we must accept that not everything works out the way we want it to and that’s OK. Happiness is not the absence of problems; it’s the ability to deal with them and then move forward. This was the best self discovery adventure I’ve ever had. And I recommend to everyone to travel solo one time in your life. You will gain self love and independence you never knew you had. Thailand changed my life. ✨
And so, how can we not allow things to shake us? How can we get back up, when we are shaken? Here are some tips for staying true to you.
1. Don’t analyze how people feel about you. Don’t analyze if someone likes you or not. Assume they do, and if they don’t, brush it off. You are AWESOME.
2. Know that if a relationship falls apart it’s because it wasn’t right, not because you did something wrong.
3. Set healthy boundaries in your life. Never lose your friends, hobbies, alone time, family time. You deserve to have it all, and you should make time for all areas of your life that fill you up.
4. Trust yourself and the decisions you make.
5. Accept responsibilities for your emotions and actions. There will be times when we step out of line or say something we don’t mean. It’s OK. Accept it, apologize for it and move on. But, don’t play victim. And learn from it. Don’t keep making the same mistakes over and over again.
6. Don’t stay in bad relationships.
7. Believe you are loved and are lovable. Don’t desperately seek reassurance. Truly believe in who you are, because you are beautiful inside and out.
8. Use your head more than your heart. This can be a challenge, but listen to your gut, let your heart be your guide, and let your head be your rational and reason.
Torrey Pines Living so close to magnificent beauty and adventure is a dream come true #grateful
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