Love Yourself.
To love oneself, you must be confident in who you are, and accept yourself for all that you are.
Confidence. It’s a word that carries a lot of weight.
Confidence = a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.
Do you believe in who you are? Do you love yourself? Do you like how you act? Do you like what you see in the mirror?
How does one become confident? Why are some more confident than others?
How often are we comparing ourselves to others? Or setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves? How often do we let failures develop our sense of self?
C O N F I D E N C E
Is it innate? Is it part of our upbringing?
I’m not sure how we get there, in fact, I think all of us take a different journey, but I’ve thought a lot about where my self-confidence comes from and here are my thoughts.
First, I have been made fun of my WHOLE life. I mean, I’m the baby in the family. My sister and brother LOVE to make fun of me. When I was little, they would entertain themselves by putting me in the splits before I could even walk or crawl, because they thought it was funny that I couldn’t get myself out of the splits. Or they would hang me from things, and make me grab on and leave me there to hang. 
But to laugh at oneself is the beauty in growing self-confident. My family as much as they made fun of me, loved me, and praised my accomplishments. My parents have always been super supportive, but have also challenged me to always give my best.
Growing up, I tried every sport you can imagine, and eventually my heart settled on gymnastics and soccer. Dancing around in a leotard performing acrobatics definitely boosts your self-confidence. Because you have to trust yourself and believe in yourself to do the routine and do it to the best of your ability, in a leotard, in front of judges. There is no one on the balance beam with you to help you get through it. Part of me believes that independence and confidence go hand in hand. When you are independent and you know you can do something on your own, then you believe in yourself and your confidence rises.
After quitting gymnastics and focusing on soccer, it was the team aspect that continued to help my confidence in myself grow. Having other people depend on you, believe in you, and trust in your abilities to be a good teammate, instills confidence in yourself that you are capable. Not just your teammates, but having a coach believe in you, too.
Friends, good friends, have also played a role. My whole life I have had good friends. I have life long friends. I have friends who I have known since I was 3, and I still talk to and see all the time. I have friends that I made in college and also talk to and see regularly. And friends who I have made as an adult. I remember going to camp, and showing up and not knowing a soul, and having to make friends. I would make friends and then have pen pals. Again, making friends and knowing “people like me”, I think, helped my confidence grow.
Life hasn’t always been easy, though. In 8th grade, I was made fun of for being “muscular”. Yup. I mean, literally, people made fun of me for having muscles. Which is kind of funny now. But, it definitely hurt my feelings and bothered me. Thankfully, being athletic, and being a part of sports, also helped my confidence, and allowed me to brush those jokes off.
If you haven’t met me in person, then you might not know, but I’m LOUD. Like really f’ing LOUD. I sometimes talk to people who are standing 2 feet away from me, as if I’m talking to an auditorium of 500 people. It’s like I’m always “performing”. I have no idea why this is, but it’s been pretty much my whole life. Most of the time people just say “I’m right here”, and I laugh. Although, I get super annoyed with myself because I’m like, that must be obnoxious!!! haha. I swear my voice just carries, and if I try to whisper then no one can hear me. It’s like my vocal chords need a lot of air to make sound. #seriously Anyway, I have always been made fun of for this. But, I have learned to own it, and just laugh and realize that I’m going to get called out for being loud. #shithappens
So what has contributed to my self-confidence? Life experiences, camp, friends, parents, siblings, failures, successes, having boyfriends who love me, or compliment me. Having a coach, teacher or professor believe in me. But, before any of that, which is all just validation, it was me growing in love with myself.
You have to work on yourself and love yourself first. Who do you want to be? What are your dreams? Your goals? Focus on you. Don’t do something for someone else. Don’t be something or do something because you think it will make other people like you more. What do you want in this life? What makes you happy?
I’ve kind of always been a dreamer and a goal setter, and I think setting goals and accomplishing goals that are my own, and doing things for me, has always impacted my self-confidence.
We all have imperfections. But, what the hell. Be confident in who you are. We are all different, and we should never sit here wanting to be someone else. Being you is what makes you, YOU! If you try to be someone else, then who is going to be YOU?
Not everyone is going to like us, love us, etc. And that’s OK. The beauty of the world is that there are so many beautiful people who you can surround yourself with that will like you just the way you are. No matter what, whether it’s a failed relationship, or a failed friendship, you get fired from work, you don’t get the promotion you wanted, etc. Struggles are what make us stronger. It is what makes us better. You have to believe in yourself or no one else will. You have to love yourself before you can love others. It is not the responsibility of anyone else to make us happy or to make us confident or make us love who we are. That comes from within you.
11 Tips for Improving Self-Confidence
1. Surround yourself with good friends. Loyal friends. Trust worthy friends.
2. In addition to friends, surround yourself with people who believe in you and your goals and dreams.
3. Set personal goals and work towards accomplishing them. You might fail and that’s ok. Keep trying!
4. Workout. I know this seems simple/dumb/obvious. But working out makes us feel good about ourselves.
5. Eat Clean. Helps with feeling good about ourselves
6. Do things for others. Help and love others.
7. Take care of your body. Drink lots of water. Get good sleep.
8. Think Positive. Tell yourself positive affirmations.
9. Don’t take life so seriously. Enjoy it. Laugh. And have fun being you 
10. Know your principles and values and live them.
11. Knowledge is power. If you don’t know something. Learn it. Develop a sense of independence so that you can tackle anything life throws at you.
One of my many dreams is for everyone to love themselves and for us all to put love and pure positive energy out into the world. I want women to support other women and not feel threatened or competitive with them. I want us to empower one another. To encourage one another and to help one another be the best versions of ourselves. Let’s make it a reality
What are your thoughts on confidence? Where do you think confidence comes from?
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